TO MY DAUGHTER TAFARI
Hello baby girl,ten years before you were born and five more before you can actually read and extra five more before you can comprehend and possibly understand the depth and intensity of this letter.
I have a mixture of feelings writing this. I don’t have you but I feel like I have known you all my life. I feel like you have always been a part of me…absent yet so present….factual yet so real I could touch you hug you kiss and caress you in my every emotion fantasy and dream.
BABY, I LOVE YOU
Taff…there is a reason for your name. I called you Tafari because I love the name…haha..and I found the name in a novel. It was an African-based book and the protagonist was not only female but also of very strong will and character,and that is what I want you to turn into. (I will be sure to keep this book for you). Besides that,your name is of Ethiopian origin meaning royalty,strength and power and baby, that is what you are made of.
I want you to know that you are beautiful in every sense whatsoever. Let not society tell you what beauty is and cage you with standards that are either unachievable or that will result in you giving up your identity to please them. Let nobody tell you that you are too skinny, too thick ,too tall or too short. You will always be a little too much of somebody.Your dark skin is more than what everybody wants you to think; and baby, your kinky black hair looks just so perfect on your head. It all tells a story of your roots and heritage. It is a trademark of your pride. I want you to always remember that beauty is engraved in the soul, that is where forever is found.
“Make and effort to change the things that you do not like. If you cannot change , change the way you have been thinking. You might find a new solution.”
Baby, I can’t always be present but I assure you that I will always be at your beck and call. I want to be that shoulder you cry on when you shattered hopeless and almost giving up. It would be my greatest joy to tell you that it will be fine even though it will not. The feeling of just holding you in my arms, hearing you sob and whimper will not only break my heart, but will also be a constant reminder that you are growing up, you make mistakes and your learning and living with the consequences of your choices.
I want to be that first person you call when you take a new step in your life. I want to be that person you call to not only share your pain but also your joys and milestones. I want to hear the excitement in your voice and imagine the tears in your eyes as you tell me how it felt as you walked to pick that trophy, read out that speech, sing that song, recite that poem, or that time he asks if you will marry him. I not only want to be in your life but also a part of every single day of it. Always remember that I did not only carry you for nine months, but I will carry you until my hear feels like I have a soul within my soul.
” The natural state of MOTHERHOOD is unselfishness. When you become a mother, you are no longer the centre of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children.”
Baby, I never want you to be in pain or cry. I will do anything for you. I will cry for you, climb the highest mountain for you. I would cross the galaxies to not only land on the moon but also face the sun for you. I will always make sure you have your eyes fixed on mine, so that when you turn into a woman you will now that your gender is not your limitation, you will know that you are worth more and can acheive more than the curves on your body or that pretty smile on your face. I will let you fix your eyes into mine untilyour wings have grown enough for you to venture outside. I want to be that first role model before you chose another from the outside.
Taff I want you to understand and always understand that It is not easy being a mother. It did not come with a manual . I will quarrel with you because I don’t feel appreciated as much as I want you too. I will shout all your three names just to confirm your presence in the house and to affirm who is boss in the house. I will get mad at you, reprimand you sometimes punish simply because I see me in you and that means all my weaknesses and mistakes included. I will make you wear things that will prove I have minimal sense of style and fashion and I will seriously get offended if you don’t wear It and wear it with pride. I will make you eat things you don’t like, go to places that you don’t fit in, buy you things that are the total opposite of what you want…but baby all of this because I love you and at the end of the day I am still your mother and a mother’s love is tough (trust me I have been there).
” There is no one perfect way to be a good mother: each situation is unique, each mother has different challenges,skills and abilities, and certainly different children…what matters is that a mother loves her children deeply.”
loving you everyday,